"...A little bit of love goes a long, long way!" New Edition sang it best!
These past few days of unconditional parenting has so far been showing nothing but positive results. All it has taken from me, is just a little bit more patience and love than to resort to time outs. When Miles has his frustrating moments, I hug him (when he allows me to) and rub his back, tell him I love him...and just like that--he melts into all the good vibes and let's go of his anger. Now, it's not like that all the time--but for the most part--it's been working like a charm! I'm getting the hang of this unconditional thang, realizing that my old calls for time outs have also been largely due to my own frustrations for wanting him to do what I wanted to do. What kind of parenting is that?! I'm totally unlearning what was done to me as a kid. My parents never grounded me or gave me time outs but the threats in Tagalog, "Bahala ka!" and the equivalent to time outs-- the cold shoulder a.k.a. the silent treatment.
But I'm saying, trick all that silent treatment and the "Bahala Ka!" threats. Kids definitely do need our love, especially when they are still forming words and ways to express their own emotions and need help and guidance to articulating how they feel. I am aware of Miles watching what I do, and what his dad does, especially when we have our own frustrating moments. He sometimes mirrors what we do. Now that I am trying to model more patience and love--for him--at those low points, I'm hoping he internalizes that to be more patient with himself, more loving towards himself. I believe this is possible this way! I'll keep you updated.
Oh Miles. He is almost like an experiment in a way. Whatever we learn from him will definitely switch up with the next kid. I guess that's what happened with Awts and I, then to Eric. Looking back, I definitely "had it easier" than my sister, who was practically my 2nd mom, and Eric had it even easier. This is probably debatable between my siblings and I. Anyways, everything in life is pretty much trial and error.
This week has been all about adjusting. Justin is also adjusting to his new job at Genentech. Miles believes his daddy is no longer a teacher at the Boys & Girls Club but a "scientist." It's really cute how he already looks up to his dad. During our days of swimming, playing at the park, having our art times--Miles will occasionally chime in, "Oh daddy's missing out on all the fun." So far though, we are all thankful for Justin getting hired at one of the top companies to work for on the Forbes list. Thanks to the Hiphop connection--it really is about networks. The great thing is that he's working alongside Miles' Ninong Paulskee. This job will allow them to have free weekends, having the flexibility of travelling if necessary. The draw back is that I can no longer do these mid-week gigs that I've been having so much fun with. But that doesn't mean that I won't have time to work on music either. It will just be more work in the "DJ room" as Miles calls it. And I can still do my Friday or Saturday night gigs but honestly, Miles and Justin are my priorities for the weekend. Family time is my number one priority especially once the semester starts. Anyway, no matter how scheduling can be--anything is possible! It's just more of a juggling act with a kid!
Chillin' with Ninong Paulskee & Daddy Jones.
Yesterday, Papo called early noon to pick up Miles to take him to the park with Dengs. Miles was so excited when I told him Papo called, "he's picking me up cause he misses me? cause I was in hawaii so long?" And I was just as excited cause that meant some time for me to work on a mix ;) When I picked him up later in the evening, Miles was all covered in chalk--and so was Darrien. They had created such wonderful artwork on Papo's drive way. The mess + smiles = a very good time!
And for a good time Saturday night..peep game:
No comments:
Post a Comment