Being Grounded

When I think of life, I am often thinking ahead and into the future. Sometimes I can get so ahead of myself to a point where I can start to worry or feel anxious. I notice that I do this when I don't make time to meditate, helping me to stay grounded and enjoy life in the moment as much as possible. When Miles was a baby, it was easier for me to live in the present. Actually, it was almost like I was forced to live in the present. Taking care of him was literally a moment to moment thing. The most I would think about into the future back then, would be to the next hour ahead. Nowadays, it is easier for me to wander off in my own thoughts and get ahead of myself-now that Miles is much more independent and also in his own world, exploring the world and playing with his own imagination.

It's amazing how one moment, you can be worried about something like--the tasks you need to get done by a certain deadline, paying off bills, and even arguments with friends or family members. But in the next moment, all those things you were worried about an hour ago just seem petty and trivial. When something happens in life, to bring you back down to earth, and ground you to that very moment you are experiencing--that experience is something very powerful and spiritual, something that transforms you.

I'd say, I've had a few experiences in life where I was brought right down to earth--to the very core of earth, to the very core of my being. And these times have all had to do with a form of death or life of someone or of something. Giving birth to Miles was one of these experiences, experiencing the pain and yet the strength of my body was one of these moments for me. And just this past weekend, losing Uncle Bert and being there in the room as he passed was another one of these raw, human/spirit, grounding moments.

I am still slowly processing what happened in Uncle Bert's room in hospital. It almost feels as if it didn't happen, as if it was surreal as it was happening. But what I do know is this...

The love between my Aunty Helen & Uncle Bert is something any one would wish to experience in this life. They are truly in love even after many decades of marriage. You can feel how much they love each other just being in the same room as them. So to see my Aunty lose her life partner was heartbreaking. My cousins, Sharon, Fernan, and Patrick and Aunty Helen & Uncle Bert have such a strong bond with one another. They are all so devoted to each other, something that I see sets them apart from many families. They put each other first beyond anything or anyone else and it is a very beautiful thing to witness. We can learn a lot from how they love each other. As a daughter, it was heartbreaking for me to watch my cousins lose their father. Uncle Bert was such a good person. I'm not saying this just because he is my family but because he is one of those people you may know or just meet in passing that radiates with positive energy and kindness. When Justin became apart of my family, Uncle Bert was the one who always made a genuine effort to get to know him and crack jokes with him. In fact, that's how I will always remember Uncle Bert, a person who was kind, selfless, and jolly--always made jokes and found a way to laugh--even when circumstances were rough.

Friday night was a painful but beautiful moment. While we stood surrounding his bed, we prayed and sang as his respirations slowed down. He left our earthly world hearing prayer and song. And while Fernan's cries were enough to pull his father's spirit back down to his body--our family let go, and everyone wished him well. It was another lesson of the power of spirit, no matter how weak the body is--spirit is powerful enough to transcend beyond what the body could. Jesse, Fernan's partner, being clairvoyant, told us yesterday that there were more in the room than just our family. There were spirits like Uncle Bert's parents, and his old coworkers from the military, that were in the room to welcome him into the after life. I've always believed in the otherside but Uncle Bert's passing reaffirmed my beliefs that life is temporary, and the afterlife is our true home. So while we are all here, grieving and missing Uncle Bert's physical presence, he is home, free of pain and back to where we all came from.

Uncle Bert, we will miss you but know that we will be seeing you soon. And to my pinsans and Aunty Helen, we are here for you and love you all so much!