We need a break!!

In an attempt to give ourselves, as well as Miles a break--we went to Amoeba's yesterday so Jus could dig for some breaks...and so Miles can leave the apartment for a break...and so that I could also get a break--alone(walking by myself around Amoebas is valuable and rare alone time).


It was a great. Miles seemed to be in a great mood. He got to meet some of his Uncles and an Aunt visiting from Hawaii (his Daddy's homies). He even had some bananas before bed. And after about an hour of unwinding, he eventually fell asleep. But woke up 15 minutes after...then woke up an hour after...followed by the next hour...and the next...and on & on & on.

I don't know what's going on. He is not sleeping through the night like he use to. He gets up every hour or two, crying for his pacifier or to be held. Jus and I arent getting the sleep that we need. So today, I felt pretty wound-up and crazy! My patience ran very thin...so did Jus(two cranky parents is not good). Even a car ride would not put the boy into his deep slumber. Ooh, "deep slumber" sounds gooooood.

There's no point in me trying to sleep right now. I'll end up getting up again in the next half-hour or hour. WACK! So here I am, venting and processing into my digital friend. I need to unwind. I really do need some sleep. I can't remember when was the last time I even got a straight 8-hour sleep. Maybe it was before I got pregnant with Miles. I'd say over a year ago. :(

oh well. Tough shit. Everything comes second, right. Our sleep comes second to this lil prince.
Days like this makes me appreciate the really good moments.

Ain't having it!

At 6 months, Miles' character is starting to resemble his moms & pops. For one, he is one CRANKY lil man if he doesn't get his nap on schedule (which is just like his daddy). Today, we didn't get to go to Lola's for bar-b-q but instead went to Aunty Chrissie's & Uncle Ian's. In a new environment, with many new faces--Miles wasn't havin' it. He didn't want to sleep at first, adjusting to his surroundings. He didn't want to eat, noticing that the walls looked different. He wants to sleep and eat his meals his way or no way. What a lil capricorn boy i tell ya! He even snubbed a cute babygirl, Pikea, while she smiled and patted his hand. This was the first time I saw him so ANTI! And this quality reflects on his mama. I guess it's the Vtown in us!? Usually, he's open arms to new, smiley faces. Even though he already knows his Aunty Lauren, he was not having it. No hugs, no love.



Instead of interacting with all the people surrounding him, he slept. It ain't like he didn't get any sleep prior to Aunty Chrissie's! He did sleep all night long.

When he was awake, he'd ignore everyone except for moms, pops, and those eating or holding a drink in hand. He was even crying for a beer! Oh no!

After a long afternoon outdoors, we headed back. Miles smiled as soon as he entered the car--something familiar to him. When it was just the 3 of us, he starting babbling. It was almost hard to believe that 5 minutes ago--he was in such a bad mood. I'm telling you--Dr.Jekyl & Mr.Hyde steez (and again, just like his pops). But I was glad to see him back to his usual loveable self!

And as soon as we got home, Miles...


...pooped. Maybe he just needed to let it all out! Let it all go! Immediately after, he was in his playful mood but ofcourse, got all sleepy again because it was his sleepy-time hour.

So now he's asleep and it's time for Jus and I to enjoy some relaxation! Praise the Lo'd!

His Life In the Sunshine...

Miles got to check out another stimulating day in San Francisco, the Fillmore Jazz Festival. For the most part, he enjoyed his late afternoon merienda, people watching, listening to a jazz medley, and spending some time with his Aunty Lea.

Miles met many of his Daddy's Hiphop friends, finding out just how popular his Dad is in SF. He can't go anywhere without meeting a new face! Besides his Daddy's homies, Miles met a pretty baby girl, blowing raspberries and impressing him with her skills.


For the most part, we listened to the music from the corner of Fillmore & Sutter, right by one of the main stages. After snacking on garlic fries & corndogs, strolling by a grip of vendors, and posting, we decided to head back home. We missed all the Jazz Funk and Afro-Jazz funk bands that played on Saturday (because we were at Lola's house watching the Pacquiao fight). But Miles was satisfied with his bottle and audio-visual stimulation, absorbing everything and everyone around him. On our quiet walk back to where we had parked--somewhere by Divisadero--we found that Miles enjoyed the view from beneath all the trees. Sometimes it can be that simple. We hear him laugh and smile the most with the most simple things. Festivals for Miles, so far this summer, have been somewhat hectic. So many vendors, so many food stands, so many peoples...not to mention so many strollers trying to manuever through crowds...

All in all, this city boy is very lucky to be emersed in city life and nature. We look forward to different types of events that spring up in this city. I always look forward to our peaceful walks together. Today was one of those good days with Miles when all I can think of is how much he is loved.

Partners-In-Crime

Here's to new beginnings! These are the first real moments of the two cousins bonding, being fully aware of each other.



Miles couldn't stop himself, grabbing Darrien by the arm, learning more about who he was.



Darrien enjoyed relating to another little person, smiling away! They were literally just chillin on the sofa, choppin' it up. Darrien would say "goo" and Miles would respond, "Ah-goo."



Miles was excited just to be with another baby--what a change from being surrounded by all the big people. He's already juiced to have a new homie, a new brotha--his best-cousin.

Ferberizing

I think I need to try this with Miles. It takes me anywhere from 15-40 minutes to put this boy to sleep. What do you think?


The Ferber Sleep Method
There comes a time in the life of every new parent, usually sooner than later, when they feel the time is right to have their child sleep through the night. Whether they arrive at this point as a result of exhaustion or frustration, or both, they begin to look into ways to help their child sleep better and, hopefully, longer. This is usually the time when parents first learn about "The Ferber Sleep Method."

Dr. Richard Ferber is the director of The Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at the Children's Hospital in Boston. Ferber's Sleep Method, sometimes called "Ferberizing," has become very popular with parents and pediatricians, though both groups readily admit that this method is not for everyone. Some feel that Dr. Ferber's book, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" is a godsend, others feel it can make both babies and parents suffer.

Ferber's method takes a progressive approach to getting your child to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. It involves putting your child to bed while awake and teaching your child to fall asleep on his or her own. The Ferber method advises that you leave the room once you put your child to bed and say goodnight. If your child cries, you must wait a certain amount of time before checking on them. (The period of time suggested in Ferber's book depends on your comfort level, how long you've been using it and how many times you've already checked on your child that particular evening.)

When you do return to your child's room to check on them, soothe them with your voice and rub your child gently with your hand, but do not pick them up, rock them, or feed them during these checks. Ferber believes that in many cases waking up is a learned behavior, which the child may have associated with some type of reward, and by removing the reward(s) associated with waking up, a child will learn to sleep through the night.

According to Ferber, the next step is to gradually increase the amount of time between checks. After about a week, according to Ferber, your child will learn that crying earns nothing more than a brief visit, and that it isn't worth the effort. They learn to fall asleep on their own. It should be noted that the Ferber Method is recommended only for children six months of age or older, after their need for a nighttime feeding has passed.

Changing behavior is never easy, and can be complicated tenfold when it involves your own child. Our need to "make it all better" can get in the way of teaching our children to sleep through the night. Many parents are not comfortable letting a child cry for any period of time. It is that fact that has raised controversy over Ferber's method. Still for those parents who can do it, it may offer a quick and relatively easy solution to the problem of getting a good night's rest, for everyone.

Mr. Independent

So as nature has it, looks like its time for me to ween the monster off. I'm a bit sad but I figure I can still nurse him at least once or twice a day. He seems to enjoy bottle-feeding as well as feeding his own independent self.




After his meal, we headed to the V to visit Darrien and Lola & Lolo. Darrien is growing so fast everytime we see him! He's just about the size of Miles! The cute thing about this little fat boy is that he snorts in between his crying and whining. He's the lil piglet and Miles is the lil monkey.




I gotta admit, I do feel somewhat relieved now that I can probably rest more and do more things since the milk factory is coming to a close. I remember Tasha, Brandon's wifey & Jesse's mama, telling me how sad she was when she weened Jesse from her at 6 months. Back then, Miles was just 2 and a half months. I felt like she was lucky to be free from being bound by the breast. But now that I'm at this point, and my lil boy is growing up, I am feeling it!

I look back at the first days of feeding Miles and still pretty surprised that I managed to feed him for these past 6 months! While he is pretty much a good baby, the balance to that was that he has been such an agressive lil barracuda on the breast. So nursing has been WORK. But his good health and our happiness is the pay off!

He loves icamera

Not only does this lil buggah love music, city strollin, and people watchin, he also loves tekmology. Miles got to meet his Uncle Wes today--got to peep his piece in Northbeach and also got to check out his icamera--which he loved. These babies just love to stare at themeselves. I wonder what they are thinking in those big heads of theirs! Miles also found out that he has a homie coming in September :) Congratulations Wes & Sabrina...babies are beautiful beings. This is definitely the year of the boy.

First & Last

We spent the day at Lolo's & Lola's house, eating, eating, and grubbin! "I'm breastfeeding" is always my excuse ;) And today, it was my excuse to eat turkery burgers, shrimp, ribs, and even chicken asada tacos (marinated from the Vargas market in Rancho)...mmm hmmm! It was Justin's & Eric's FIRST FATHER'S day :) Eric enjoyed his day of all days, drinking it up with his homies over. Jen and I actually enjoyed a cold beer :) My first beer in over a year! I couldn't even finish half of the bottle, feelin a bit tipsy! Talk about a cheap date...I can't believe i use to be a 40-water chick. Anyways, after being such a breastfeeding nazi for all these months, I decided to loosen up. one beer won't hurt...Miles seems to be doing fine!

Justin's mom had sent Jus a very sweet card. Hallmark can be corny but also on point. In just 3 sentences, this card articulates our life changes in a nutshell:

"Now everything else is second. Now everything else can wait. Now one tiny person holds all the promise in the world."

That's wassup. I had to relay the message over to Jen. It's great having Mommy convos with her!

But while it was a happy first Father's day it was also somewhat of a sad day. Yesterday we attended the funeral services for Uncle Roman, my Aunty's husband. My cousin George (her son) and Aunty Daling were over today for a bit. I know she's in a great deal of pain. I know my cousins are also dealing with grief in their own way. I can't even imagine what it feels like but I have a pretty good idea after losing loved ones--my grandparents and also Angell. Justin also spoke about losing his grandmother--how painful it was to grieve. Those feelings returned to the both of us during the funeral. After yesterday, I couldn't help but pray that nothing will happen to Justin or Miles, praying that I will be here for them for a long while too. These two guys give me all the reasons for living a long, healthy life. It was no coincidence that Uncle Roman's services happened during Father's day weekend. He is no longer in pain. And as Sylvia Browne says, "Spririts never leave--they are always with us."

Today was also the LAST day we all hung out with Bobawts. Awts is leaving us for a year in Conneticut! She's joining the babysitter's club. Sike. She's doing her residency all the way on the other side of the country! It was sad when she was saying her goodbyes but you know my family just finds a way to laugh it off. Humor is the easiest way for us to deal with our emotions--or sometimes used to even avoid our emotions! I'm driving her to the airport tomorrow with Bob. I hope she can visit us at least a few times over the next year. I'd like to take Miles out there maybe during the winter months. Bobawts will be missed! They kindly donated their very nice flatscreen to the Miles fund so he can enjoy his Baby Einstein dvds on a larger screen. I kept thinking of how she will be missing out on seeing all the developmental milestones of both Miles & Darrien. It's sad really. Everything is always just a give and take in life. Poor N9na--I don't think he realizes what is happening. He loves Bobawts and vice-versa. It's too bad Bob can't just take in N9na.

I think I'll just start putting together dvds of the family and send them over to her like how we do for Justin's parents. It's been a good week and yet a sad one. I can hear Aceyalone's lyrics resonating, "It's perfectly balanced...".

small fries

On Sunday this past weekend, we brought our lil V-town boy to E-40's Fatburger in Pleasant Hill. We enjoyed our turkey burgers and Miles got to taste ketchup on a skinny fry. He got so frustrated, holding his fry--not being able to eat it. He still has to learn how to push food to the back of his mouth. His fussing made us eat as quickly as possible. After our meal, I realized that this boy was really hungry--it was 4 hours since the last time I fed him.It was so mean of me to eat in his face!

Afterwards, we hit up the Rasputin's down the street (where I use to work) and bought records as well as a Baby Einstein dvd for Miles. Today, he actually sat still for about 10 minutes listening and watching quietly...and then, he started screaming his head off.

Bobawts came over for dinner and caught some of the dvd. Awts claimed the dvd was as scary as those Teletubbies episodes! I have to admit--some of these baby/kid programs are a little wierd. I wonder what they would look like on trees...hey, what can I say I'm a tree-hugger.
Whatever it is about these eye-catching programs, Miles loves it.

Miles' Milestones

He's 5 months and he is growing so fast, learning something new each day. Right now, he is trying to sit up on his own. He can sit up like a tripod and go forward, trying to suck on his toes. He also knows that I'm his mom and Jus is his dad, crying for us when we leave the room or enter the room. Miles knows what food is and everytime he sees me take a bite--he yells, "Ahhh!" with his mouth wide open, waiting for a bite of his own. In 3 weeks, we'll give him a taste of his first banana. I'm already excited for him so I purchased Earth's best bananas and pears :)

This boy can sleep through the night. He loves his sleep. If he misses out on a nap--he'll scream. The only other time he'll scream is when he's hungry. Right now, he is also teething. He refuses to breastfeed unless I'm engorged. I fed him 4 ounces of formula for the first time and he took it but had gas after. Poor baby! All I can give him is his Orajel and Tylenol. I'm druggin' him up, hoping to relieve some of his pain. It's so kuwawa!

At this point of parenting, being a mama to a capricorn boy, I've gotten into the groove of things. Miles has such a strong personality. He knows what he wants and is very demanding. He is also such a great communicator. He opens his eyes wide and smiles from ear-to-ear when he wants us to play with him. One of the best sounds to me (besides Hip hop music) is hearing Miles crack up! I can already see his sense of humor building...he cackles! It makes us crack up. But the first time I heard him laugh, I actually got all teary-eyed just feeling the joy in his voice. ok, i'm corny but I love my lil seed. I'm thankful for our blessings. I can hardly remember those first weeks of panic and confusion. Thank God we survived! Seeing him learn different things about himself, people, our world in general is rewarding. I love the look on his face when he stares at trees as we go on our walks. It's these simple moments with him that makes every second worth all the work. Cause let me tell you, IT IS WORK. This is my most challenging job ever. If I could get paid for my sweat & tears, I'd own a grill worth a house in Frisco. Sike.

I can't believe Miles is so big now. He's retiring from his infant car seat. I think he's 1 inch passed the requirement. It's time to buy a big boy one now. My little big boy!

He's here...the lil barracuda we call Miles

It's been awhile but I've been tied up. Motherhood & parenting--so far--ain't no joke! Labor & delivery was a "pleasant" experience and Miles left the womb, entering our earthly world on January 1st 2006. He couldn't wait til the 10th. I'll write more on my birth story later but for now, here's a picture of our family...



------------------------------------------------------

(myspace blogs)

Saturday, January 07, 2006


the lil barracuda we call Miles

the first 6 days of his life and ours as his parents has been quite an experience! all i can say about it is Whew!! ok, bye.

sike! each day is different--not to mention each night. sometimes we get sleep, sometimes we're delirious--but at all times Miles is just so loveable i don't mind all the changes--i'm just learning to flow with it. the first day & night was overwhelming cause i was just nervous about everything, wanting to do my very best as a mama. but i'm chillin off being so hard on myself. this is all new. and so far, Jus and I have been doin our best tag-teaming: i feed the lil buggah and Jus changes his diapers.

it's great seeing Miles' character already. he's an aggressive lil capricorn! the Lactation RN came by for a home visit and noticed his great motor skills but also commented on him being a "little barracuda"! and i know all you mothers out there nursing know what that means...but everything takes time and practice and that's what it's been like so far...PRACTICE.

it's also great seeing Justin as a papa--Papa Jones. he's so good with Miles. I've never seen him so patient. he can calm Miles down when he's fussy and he's also been teaching me a few tricks of the trade. he was born to be a father. it's such a beautiful thing to walk into the room and see him dancing with Miles in his arms with Roy Ayers playing in the background, Everybody loves the sunshine. Miles loves that song. all we need to do is bump it and he relaxes...and so do we.

i'm adjusting to my role as a mother and i realize that it is the most important role i'll have in this life. i remember the RN in lamaze class sayin that "labor & delivery was a piece of cake compared to a lifetime of raising a child." labor & delivery was a piece of cake--with the help of Jus, mom, Lea & all the helpful staff at Sutter...and i'm understanding & overstanding the challenges of this role. but i guess you can call it maternal instinct--when nature just has you doing what you need to be doing as a parent.

now that Miles has arrived (2 weeks early--he just had to say "Happy New Year fooz!"), i can't imagine not having him with us. i'm excited about what's to come for us as a family but i'm just taking each day in stride, taking each day to appreciate the lil buggah and his Papa, taking each day to soak it all in--cause i know they all grow so fast. we've grown so fast--my parents can't believe i'm a parent-not to mention the fact that they are grandparents.

it's a trip to see how things change from one year to the next. around this time last year, i was preparing and practicing non-stop with Dee for the Skratch tour show at dna lounge. Jus came through to the show--as a homie. this year, we're starting the year off with Miles and now i'm married to my homie Jusoneo. i just give thanks for all the blessings and can't stop thanking my mom & dad everytime i see them.

big ups to all the mamas & papas out there doin their thang...

peace.

----------------------------------------------------------


Thursday, January 19, 2006


"In order to create you have to be about change..."--Miles Davis

Changes, changes, changes...so many changes in just a short amount of time. we really are resilient beings. it could be difficult to adapt if i chose to remain the usual stubborn self that i can be but it's totally different now that i'm a mama.

One challenging aspect of being Mama Feel Good is feeding Miles. this boy eats just about every hour--except when he takes his 3 hour naps. and Jus and i love those long naps too! two weeks have passed since his first doctor's visit and since then he has grown 2 inches and gained a good amount of weight, weighing in at 8 pounds 15 ounces--he's ready to box.

Each day gets a little easier as i get in rhythm with Miles, developing somewhat of a routine. like today, i actually have time to type this up as he sleeps. earlier, i was able to skratch during his 3 hour nap, feeling a great release afterwards. i'm so thankful for this outlet cause it is possible for me to lose my mind right now--but i can't afford to cause i have a baby to feed!

-------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


inspiration.

tomorrow night is going to be my first night out since Miles was born. my sister & brah-in-law volunteered to watch Miles while i get a dose of inspiration; D-styles & Mike Boo cuttin it up at the Elbo room. lately, i've been watching some dvds which have been getting my creative juices flowing, including the Bastard Language Tour & the Night at the Knitting Factory. I got to attend these shows--and it just reminds me how much better the SOUND & FEEL is LIVE. anytime i get a chance to hear the greats play live--i leave the place feeling like its time to practice! seriously.

and yo, honestly, i'm out of practice. i've been adjusting to motherhood and now that i got a better hang of it--i feel ready to leave my fat fat boy home (with his dad or someone to watch him ofcourse!) as i start spring training with Dee. i know it ain't Spring yet--but shoot--i need to get a head start. this year looks good and we both got a lot of work to put in. after tomorrow night, i know we'll be pumped.

balancing the role of being a mother & being a DJ doesn't seem as difficult as it may be to balance out having a 9 to 5 and being mother to a newborn. well, so far it seems practical and easy. but then again, it is what you make it--so whatever i think of these roles will manifest. i just have to coordinate my schedule with Jus and i'm pretty thankful for breastpumps. yo, Miles is bound by the breast which means that it really would be impossible to leave him for a few hours. unless i fed him formula! but i'm really trying to just feed him breastmilk for at least these first few months (it's the best nutrition for your baby!). that's why breatspumps are great...especially electric ones. but i'm open to formula in case of emergency. (mothers out there--any suggestions?)

ok i'm such a mom. i just read what i typed. i started off thinking about skratching and here i am talking about feeding breast milk & formula. see, these two important aspects of my life--music & Miles are coming into balance! but back to the music part--i also have to balance sharing the tables with Jus. i remember dan aka Snaykeyez (hey ladies!) saying he didn't want to date a DJ cause he felt that he would end up fighting over records...well, in my situation--that's not the case. we married into each other's collection. (yup, i got an arsenal of breaks now--all i have to do is dig thru Jus' collection! haha) but as far as time on the tables--that's when it can be tricky. afterall, Jus is really active in making new break mixes or making beats--and even skratching. he's getting pretty good...which reminds me that i need to practice while both of my boys are asleep!

peace.
--------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, April 12, 2006


Today has a been a GREAT day!

April 12 is a special day. My nephew, Darrien, was born at 9:30 pm! I'm so happy for my brother Eric and his wifey-to-be, Jen! They will make great parents. Miles has a new cousin to have adventures with as they grow up :) Today is also my bestfriend's 26th birthday, Diane Medina aka Deeandroid. It was a great way to celebrate, cuttin it up for ASU at SFSU earlier this evening. Miles got to watch his mama in action. It was a family affair! Today is also my nephew's 1st birthday, Jesse Machado. We got to celebrate it on April 1st in Vegas with most of the Cadabes family. That was a dope weekend with delicious Hawaiian food. I think I gained about 5lbs from grubbin on lau lau, kalua, and mac salad.

Right now, the moon is huge. Tomorrow is a full moon. The sky actually cleared up a bit this evening so we got to see a little sunshine.

I just love these days when there is so much happiness around you, balancing it all out.

Dee and Winst-Oner are coming over and we're gonna peep Piece by Piece, the documentary on SF graffiti history. Miles is already sleeping so its time to unwind.

give thanks.

"Happy Baby Shower to you!!"

...Last Sunday was the first time I ever heard people sing a "Happy Baby Shower" song! Justin and I felt pretty embarrassed and yet the whole thing was also pretty funny. I'll post pictures up later. After a long day at Lamaze, we arrived at the same time as everybody else. My parent's house was packed like a Saturday night at Milk. With Triple Threat's Funk Flava of the month playing in the background during the games, the evening really felt like a club or house party. People seemed to be enjoying themselves and having fun so that was good to see. Diane held it down with facilitating all the games, Awts kept everything else in tact (bathroom, food table, etc.), and Mom kept the food coming! This was the first time my Mom cooked loads of food without leftovers. The food consisted of turkey/chicken menudo, shrimp pancit, beef shanghai lumpia & turkey lumpia, turkey meatloaf, Diane's veggie dish, fruit salad, Sharon's cassava dessert, chocolate cake, cheesecake and yes--it was yummy. I didn't get to enjoy the food as much and at times I had to just catch my breath, manuvering around crowds of people but all in all--I was glad family & friends made it out.

Friends from Highschool came through including Liezel with her kids & Eric G. with his kids. It was also nice to see Cheryl, Dime, & Emo! Justin's homies from the East Bay, Oakland, & our friends from SF came through too. And Mom made it out all the way from Hawaii!! We were really happy that she was there with us :) Uncle Eling happened to be in town also. He joked, "Next time I'll be back for your next big occasion!" Last time he was here, he was able to make it to our wedding.

We are both really fortunate to have such supportive friends and family members in our lives. I think we are fully supplied for our first months--maybe even year--of parenting. Everybody really hooked us up! From a breast pump to a crib--all we need is Miles! It took almost 2 hours for us to finish opening up our gifts. Miles is one lucky little boy :)

Yesterday, I spent the day with Mom, Awts, & Jen. We bought disco-like ornament balls for our cute pine-smelling Christmas tree. I wish I could smell it but I've been sick this weekend. We also helped mom out with her Christmas shopping. Before I left Vallejo back to SF, I traded cars with mom. I have to admit, I felt a kinda sad giving up my Eclipse but there is no way I can put a car seat in that car--and also no way that I can get up and out of the car any easier at this point! Thank God for the camry! There's also so much room in the back and in the trunk! We'll be needing as much space as possible. He can arrive any minute!

Yesterday, I also got a call from Erica, telling me to read the paper. Our friend Michelle from Highschool gave birth to her son, two weeks earlier than expected--in her car! She delivered him on her own and his dad caught him. He's healthy and they made it safe to the hospital! What a story to share with him when he is older! Congratulations Michelle!

Darrien Danilo Elacio...

...and that is the name of my brother's son--due on April 20. Kind of ironic that their son is due on 420. "Instead of cigars, we'll have blunts," according to Eric. Jen is a happy mama, she was hoping for a boy. This means that Miles will have a partner-in-crime to run the house with. :)
We are all excited--especially my dad--whose looking forward to having two little boys in the family. Congratulations Eric & Jen! They will be like me & Tintin, Justin & Brandon!

Today at my appointment, my midwife told me that next week is considered 9 months (35 weeks) and on the week before Christmas--I'll be full-term, meaning I could give birth within 36-42 weeks. Please pray for me! At lunch today, Erica told me that Charmaine went into active labor this morning at 7am which means that Ian is probably already here! Congratulations!! :) I can't wait to meet him...

Week 34 ain't no Joke!

I wake up every afternoon hungry and ready to eat! I think I'm going to make some waffles with turkey bacon today. Thank God Jus bought me some fruits. The other night, I was craving for oranges and popsickles. So he left to Albertson's and came home with pears, grapes, oranges, and a pack of Nestle Toll house cookies. Yummy..those were killed in a second. Yesterday, I craved a burger so we stopped by In & Out after our cardio at Serramonte Mall. I never ate so much beef and swine! I guess Jus is right...this has been our "year of indulgence." After attending a UZN meeting last week, we both decided that we need to check ourselves with our meat intake...but that will start with the beginning of 2006 ;)

Over the weekend, I started Christmas shopping for family. Jus & I ended up walking around downtown Frisco for 3 hours. The sidewalks and streets were chaotic with hundreds, thousands even--of people and shopping bags. De La's song was in my head as bags hit me left to right. H&M was too crazy to even sift through so I bounced. I'll wait until I can wear the clothes again! Right now, some of my maternity clothes don't fit me as they did a month ago. Miles is running out of space and I feel his every movement. I have 5-6 weeks left and I'm still debating whether or not to buy a few more maternity tops...Old Navy has a bunch on sale. It's just a matter of going downtown in that madness.

Anyways, back to shopping. So yesterday at Serramonte, I finished half the list--which was of my side of the family. Jus wants to put doing his side of the family off. This is the first time I actually did some Christmas shopping wayyyyy in advance. Usually I wait til the last minute--a few nights before Christmas. But I just have this hunch to get everything done now--just in case.

I also have to get a mixtape done now or never! Now that we can use Rube's powerbook & protools since our Mac aint workin, i got to take advantage of it. So that is what's on my agenda for today: Mixtape...well, mix cd. The other week, an agent from funkguru.com contacted me and inquired about a presskit & my fees for performing. The exciting thing is that they are based in Singapore. I sent Dee's info as well and told him about my plans for staying home for the first months after January. He agreed that I come out when I am comfortable and ready to. Dee will be flying out and DJing before then which is pretty exciting! This will be our first gig overseas. And according to Dee's convo with Ritchie, looks like Thudrumble got plans next year (towards the summer) of touring parts of the U.S. (including Honolulu), Manila, & Tokyo. . . this means, a passport for myself, Miles, & Justin. Each year, we get busier and busier...give thanks for all the blessings.

Last week highlights

wassup Snupe!
N9na aka Ning-ning loves taking pictures.
Malambing si Homielito!
Jus making that Boom Bap in the V.
It's his crack mission--he gots to have it!

Last Minute Laughs

I've heard that a jolly pregnant woman gives birth to a jolly baby. I hope so! Last night was one of the funniest nights, ever. I got the chance to listen to one of the wittiest comics, Dave Chappelle. He decided to do a last minute gig at the Punchline on Battery St. and it just so happened that Erica heard it just in time on the radio--to call me up--and place ticket orders. Diane was here visiting so she was able to make that quick purchase. Justin was hype about it when I called him at work to tell him the news but as soon as I mentioned the price, $58--he said, "I'd rather spend that on records!" It was a last minute show with Erica, Joy, Diane, Winston, Dan, as well as Lauren & Debbie. Cause we 'bout it--'bout it for 58 bones and a 2 drink minimum. Thank God they served ginger ale cause I needed it!

The $58 was well worth it! Dave ended up talking sh** for over 2 hours. None of his stand up was written out but improvised. He was interacting with the audience, getting into peoples' bizzzness, and just chillin really. All I know is that I had one of those good belly work out laughs and so did Miles. This lil boy was moving in circles and stomping on my bladder. I had to get up to use the bathroom cause I couldn't take it.

By the end of the night, Diane & I ended up meeting Dave and giving him our CD which he made the bartender stop the current CD playing just to hear what we had. He was like, "I'm enjoying it already." But we had to go and when we were saying peace--he was like, "But they're playing your songs--you gotta go already?" Maaan...I got all shy. He's just a funny guy. Funny guys are the best-- just like my husband, Justintin :) Justin picked Dan & I up after and I had a good night sleep with my babies. Thanks Chappelle--that crack head!!

On a side note--Chappelle talked about being the "New American" because his mother is half white & black, married to a black man, making him 25% more likeable. Hahaha...He then said his wife is Filipino so together they have Puerto Rican kids! Hahahah....I thought that was pretty funny.

"What is a pregnant lady doin at the bar?!"

Papa Jones, Mamafeelgood, & Uncle Eko

Am I in denial or what?! Sike. We were at the Milk bar for Lauren's 26th birthday during the D2S weekly. It's funny getting those weird looks from the bouncers and patrons. But who says pregnant women shouldn't be at a bar?! I still enjoy myself without the liquor--good music is all I need. And FYI--I was just having a sprite but I sure do miss Anchorsteam off the tap! Oh well...one day I will be able to enjoy a nice, cold beer. But until then, I enjoy sprite or sometimes a mixture of cranberry, oj, & pineapple juice.

The Homestretch

I'm back to feeling more tired and sleepy. I'm starting to feel nauseous again. It's hard to get comfy when I do sleep. I wake up 3-5 times a night to use the bathroom. My feet are swelling up and so are my hands. I'm not even skratching on the tables but it still feels like I've gotten a wrist work out! Pregnancy is so fun at this point! Other than these discomforts, I'm going to do prenatal yoga everyday to help ease all the tension in my body and also to prepare mentally, physically, & spiritually for labor and delivery. LABOR and DELIVERY. Yikes!!!

I opened up my pregnancy-related books again to educate myself on what to look out for when it's time. I still can't believe that these days will be my last days as a child-free woman. I'd just like to continue spending these last weeks, chillin as Justin enjoys his Star Wars Battle Front 2 PS2 game. I'm really fortunate to have had a work-free pregnancy (besides the Def Ed classes and DJ gigs). One of my last gigs will be this Saturday at the Filipino Community Center in the Excelsior. It's a fundraiser Bboy/Bgirl Jam for the FCC. I've just been preoccupied with what is going on internally, externally that I haven't been spending time on the decks. But this is the first time that I've really taken a break from it. But it is a much needed break to prepare in other ways for motherhood. I have been reading more than skratching. My midwife warned me about carpel tunnel during pregnancy. This is one of the reasons why I've taken a skratch break. Speakin of breaks, Justin is on a crack mission to dig up all the breaks in our vicinity. He's even raided my bedroom in Vallejo for more breaks. Friday was a funny afternoon at a Vinyl spot in Richmond. I'll post Justin the crackhead diggin pictures up later...it was a funny site but I enjoy seeing him giddy and lose his sh** when he finds that special 45 for $2-- Soul Makossa by Afrique. One of the perks about this marriage is that his finds are MY FINDS too. :)

On Saturday, Justin and I went to Charmaine's & Jason's baby shower. The funny thang was that there must have been five of us pregnant women there. This one lady said she was due in 2 weeks but the size of her belly looked like mines at 6 months. Anyways, all those pregnant ladies looked really cute. Jason's aunty passed by me and noticed my belly and exclaims, "Ay! buntis nanaman!" And for those that don't understand Tagalog, she said, "Wow! What a beautiful woman!" hahaha...anyways, I'm entertaining myself as I type. Yesterday at Target, this one elderly worker offered assistance in finding blah blah blah as we walked passed her then she says to Justin, "You better not have her out too late or you just might have to take her to the hospital." OK--I was annoyed. People just love to tell us what to do and how to do things. STRANGERS love to do this. It wasn't even late--it was around 6:30 pm. And even if I was at home and I did go into labor--Justin would have to take me to the hospital regardless! But as usual, I just had to brush that dirt off my shoulders.

We spent the weekend with mom, dad, JenEric, BobAwts and the doggies. Our family just keeps growing! We had dinner at Hula Hut in Benicia on Saturday night and dinner at Chevy's last night. My family has never went out to eat so much before. It seems as though my parents are really enjoying our company when we are all together now. My dad even cooked and packed us Tinola to take to the city. Justin is just at home in Vallejo too--I still have my tables, mixer, and the ASR-10 in the bedroom--not too mention my record collection. Homie loves his papa Justin and won't leave him alone. I bought him a Christmas sweater to match his new collar. He hates wearing clothes but I am trying to train him. He is so cute in it! Snupe on the other hand loves clothes. I saw a Santa robe at Target and must go back to buy it. When he was younger, and all black & brown, he use to love his Santa robe, wearing it even in the summer. There are some really fun and stylish dog accessories at Target. Ooh, I think I'm in the Target mood right now.

Lucy Poo

She's already fitted

Ang oot!

miles & me, Jus, BobAwts, Tom & Lucy

So I finally got to meet my beautiful niece, Lucia last week! FINALLY! And ain't she just a cutie?! She has the best cheeks ever and Lea was right when she said that Lucy was all cheeks, belly, & booty! :)

Yesterday I had another appointment and afterwards I signed up for all these parenting and lamaze classes. The first class is tomorrow and it's actually focusing on car seat safety for babies. The perk is that we'll receive a gift certificate towards a car seat purchase at Target after the class. Justin and I plan on just spending the weekend again in Vallejo. On Saturday, it's Charmaine's baby shower and Jason's 24th Birthday celebration--all in one. She is due first week in December. Can't wait to see how they are doing.

Today I noticed the battle scars underneath my belly button. I thought the coast was clear goin on the 8 month soon without stretchmarks but I was wrong. My homeboy Kyle told me that his cousin sports her stretchmarks like what. And this is just a small part of being pregnant! I see Miles' lil booty sticking out when he adjusts himself and moves around in circles and side-to-side. He's starting to kick my ribs more often and as soon as I start talking in the morning--he starts movin and groovin. Last week, his Uncle Eko gave him some white Jordans that he probably won't be able to wear until he's 6 years old! But they are cleeeeeean.... ;)

Ok, I'm hungry--time to snack!

Your Amazing Newborn by Nathalie Kelley

When most of us arrived into the world as newborn infants, a newborn baby was thought to be unintelligent and unfeeling with primitive and undeveloped senses. Not until the mid 1960s did research begin to show us the truly amazing complexity and wholeness of the newborn child. Now for the first time in the history of humanity, we have scientific evidence to reinforce our intuition that the newborn infant is thinking, feeling, miraculous being with astounding abilities and even greater mystery.
Six States of Awareness
By closely observing your baby, you will quickly learn to recognize its six states of consciousness. These are: quiet alert, active alert, crying, drowsiness, quiet sleep and active sleep. Each state has its own distinct function and set of behaviors. During your baby's first week, it spends about three hours a day in the quiet alert state gazing and being completely receptive to it's environment. About 16 to 20 hours a day is spent sleeping, alernating every 30 minutes from quiet sleep to active sleep. Your baby spends 50% of its sleep time dreaming, where it integrates new information, an enormous amount compared with our 15%.
What do babies dream about? Although uncertain, every measurable evidence suggests that infants' dreams are similar to ours and begin early in utero, containing material from their life experience thus far.
Movement
Recently with the use of special films, reserachers have discovered that there is a remarkable rhythm every minute and a half to the seemingly meaningless arm and leg, movements your baby makes. Even more exciting is the discovery of synchronous movement of the newborn to adult speech . Visible only with slow motion footage, babies move in response to each syllable we speak as if dancing to the rhythm of our voice.
Sight
While in the womb, your baby has seen only light and dark. Immediatley after birth newborns seem eager to look around and see the world for the first time. Your newborn can focus on objects 8-10 inches away, exactly the distance for your breastfeeding infant to see your face clearly. Nature supports the bonding process in hundreds of miraculous ways. If undrugged at birth, your baby will be in an extended period of quiet alertness for its first hour before falling asleep. This is a magical moment of awe and wonder. Your baby will gaze wide-eyed into your eyes as eagerly as you gaze into his or hers. Faces and contrasting light and dark patterns hold the most visual appeal to your infant.
Hearing
Your newborn has been hearing for several months in utero, and can hear very well at birth. Your baby actually hears small units of sound better than you do! Its hearing extends to as low as 40 decibels. A healthy newborn can determine which direction a sound is coming from and turn toward that direction, demonstrating a complex coordination of movement, sound, and sight.
Infants prefer speech to other sounds, and high-pitched voices in particular. "Womb sounds" have proven to have a powerful effect on the newborn. Studies of groups of newborns who heard a broadcast of a heartbeat in hospital nurseries show that they gained more wight, slept better and cried less than the newborns who did not hear the heart sounds.
Smell
Your newborn infant's sense of smell is much finer than most adults. By three days of age your infant can identify your smell and prefers it over other adults. A newborn can smell its mother in the room even if he can't see or hear her. Like us, the infant prefers sweet smells to sour or bitter odors.
Intelligence
Your child not only hears in utero, but through constantly hearing your voice, it is learning and practicing language. In "Babies Remember Birth", Dr. Chamberlain describes how sound can be broken down into minute parts and "cryprints" are produced. Each infant has its own unique cry which matches the mother's speech patterns. The fetus has been taking language lessons and acquires the mother's accents and intonations. Babies of deaf mothers have an unusual cry or none at all. Babies as young as two day old can learn to manipulate their environment through devices that meter sucking. If, when they suck fast, they get a high-pitched voice, they will suck fast. When this order is reversed, they quickly adapt and suck at the right speed to get the high-pitched voice.
The innate wisdom and intelligence of even the youngest babies cannot be underestimated. The more we learn about newborns, the more intelligent "they" become. And there is still so much we don't know!
* * *

la tratos

Justin and I did not plan on having a cake but it turned out that his dear Aunty Janice flew all the way from San Diego with one of her beautiful and delicious cakes! I'm not usually a cake lover but this one was the best one I ever tasted next to a Red Ribbon Halo Halo cake! She froze the cake, frosted it in the Hotel room, and decorated the cake right before we had lunch. God bless her! I wish I still had some.
The other picture was posted just for Teresa...There goes Justin kissing Miles...and my belly.

Right now, Justin and I are waiting for Sex and the City to come on. The show that's on right now is Hello My Name is Earl--one of the funniest shows I've seen lately. I like staying home and resting! I never realized how much I was out gallibanting until I slowed my role. I remember Lea use to always comment about how I was on the go but never really thought too much of it. But now my body really feels it when I am out all day. Today, Miles was kicking non-stop as I ran errands from 1pm-5pm. As I got some paper work notarized, the man helping me commented, "I know I shouldn't be butting in but you should really consider laying off the beer..." I needed a laugh at that moment too. Anyways, he has a cute stationary store on Geary right next to the post office. I noticed he had baby clothes, books and other accessories but I left before I could open up my wallet.

The other exciting part of my day was going to the DMV to get a new license. Not only will this new one have a new picture (the one I've had has my 17-year old picture on it)--but it will also have my new name. I still need to practice my new signature. So many changes I tell ya...

For dinner, Justin and I went to L & L and had spam musubi. Moo-soobee. And yo, it was broke da mouth! I'm practicing my pigeon. I can't wait to go to Hawaii once our lil boy is here! :)

I miss Homie

movies w/ the homegirls

While I'm living in the P-side apartment, I can't have my baby, Homie, with me. It's such a sad thing because I miss him all the time and call home just to check and see what he's up to. He's lucky he has Snupe and my parents to look out for him. My mom tells me that she's his mother now! It only makes me wonder how it will be once Miles is born. Will she make him her son too?! Hahaha...it's kind of funny but when I see how my parents treat Homie--I can already see how they will baby Miles.

I'm 30 weeks into my pregnancy and I'm starting to get bloated. My ring is not loose anymore and I probably won't be able to wear it in a few weeks. At night, I have to wake up every 2 hours just to use the bathroom. Justin sleeps closest to the wall so that its easier for me to just roll out of bed. I literally, roll out of bed. I feel like a butterball! :) But a happy butterball--everything makes me laugh more than usual. Maybe I'm going crazy!

September 19, 2005

Mr. & Mrs. Cadabes

Married with children...

Bodyrockin' at 28 weeks 10/15/05

...well not quite just yet. From what it feels like--Miles is going to be on his way a little earlier before his due date in January.

My stomach has been growing rapidly by the week it seems--ever since the week of our wedding, September 21. Speaking of our wedding, everything feels the same as it did before we wore these rings. People ask us how is married life and those sorts of questions but honestly, its been the same relationship with the addition of a new last name and the workings of a shared bank account. Besides sharing and having a new last name (which I still need to legally change on paper), it still feels like we're homies in love. I have a lot of patience for him which I probably didn't have for other people. And he also is pretty patient with me when i get in those moods..these pregnancy moods...

Last night was a FULL moon. The sky was practically bright blue at midnight. Anyways, we both just finished watching a great anti-drug movie, Spun--and man--I felt so emotional afterwards. I didn't know what to process. This movie tripped me out like trainspotting but because it was about crystal-meth--it made me think of people close to me that were users. Anyways, what is it about full moons that makes people go nuts. I couldn't sleep until about 2:30 am or so.

Now I'm up. I realized that I haven't wrote in this journal in a long while. I'll post up pictures from our wedding and others that we've been taking since we purchased our digital camera. We're getting ready to document everyday with Miles :)

Good news came our way when we found out that Miles will be growing up with a cousin--just 4 months behind him! My brother and his fiance, Jen, are having a baby by May! :) This is going to be great! Having kids in the family is so fun--especially during holidays! These 3rd generation kids will also have each other to grow up with like how it was for us as kids. We all had a partner-in-crime--like Tintin was one of mines. Our kids will also have Lucy and Jenna Marie--as well as Andre who will be the leader of the pack. Sometimes, it trips me out when I see myself in the mirror or in the reflection of a window. It all seems like its happening so fast. But as Roy Ayers sang, "Life is just a moment"--and that is really what I'm feeling these days. I'm enjoying every minute I have left before everything changes even more! But I'm also looking forward to everything changing like crazy! Change is good...

This past weekend, I had two gigs. Friday night was at 26 Mix and it was with other DJs like Mista B, J-Flow + more. Everytime any kind of funk is playing, Miles goes off. I swear he's probably poppin' inside my belly! It feels different DJing while I'm pregnant. Maybe its because I'm farther from the tables or because everytime i rock back and forth I feel it in my back. But it also feels different because I'm aware that Miles is inside of me, moving with me sometimes--rocking back and forth. He's hearing what I'm playing and he's also probably feeling what I'm feeling--like when I play a certain song that gets me hype such as Rakim's I aint no joke. On Saturday night, I DJed at Bodyrock which was also fun. I'm usually one of the people on the dancefloor so it was a cool change to just play for that crowd. The night was also fun because it was a family affair--me & Miles on the tables and Justin on the Mic, controlling the crowd. I will definitely miss DJing when I take a break. But I need to take one for my sake and the baby's sake. I just think of it as pregnancy leave from DJing. Tomorrow is also my last class with the youth at Ocean View library. I'm gonna have a lot of fun with them since it will be my last for awhile. I'll probably try to hype them up into battling each other.

Ok, I better go because Justin finished cooking me breakfast! He's singing, "Eating alone is no fun! Eating alone is no fun!" Hahaha...

check out his dome!

So here is Miles at 20 weeks in my belly. Check out his lips and forehead--looks like his papa!
I've gained 4 lbs since the beginning of August so you see Teresa--I'm eating! And now, I can finally digest everything in sight...hahaha..keep those cookies and chocolates away from me! NUM NUM NUM!

ok, I'm tryin to live it up and go out as much as I can. sike! Well tonight, we're going to watch DMC at DNA Lounge with Grand Wizard Theodore and Jazzy Jay. Miles loves the club life already! Hiphop you don't stop!